


A New World

by legolastariel



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humor, M/M, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 19:10:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7857607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legolastariel/pseuds/legolastariel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after episode 6x9</p><p>Rick sits vigil at Carl's sickbed, worrying for his son's life as well as for the man he loves, who is still out there somewhere with Abraham and Sasha. Rick is telling Carl about the new world he has planned for him, for all of them, and he wants that new world to see Daryl by his side. Yet Daryl is still trying to make his way back and both of them still have to find the way to each other. </p><p>- Sequel to <i>And when we meet again</i> -</p>
            </blockquote>





	A New World

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [And when we meet again](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7829902) by [legolastariel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/legolastariel/pseuds/legolastariel). 



> I have to start this story with a little bit of a prologue, since it is supposed to be a sequel to my story   
> _And when we meet again._  
>  That story however is set right after the episode 6x8, telling my version as to how things may have developed from there.  
> When episode 6x9 came out, it was told differently, of course. Spoil sports!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> This story now – _A new world_ – is a sequel to _And when we meet again_ as well as to episode 6x9, so I had to create a little bit of a “mixed, slightly AU reality”, if you may. A mixture of both, the story and the movie, so this story here now makes any sense at all. Can’t ignore neither the former story, nor the film, so picture this scenario:  
> 
> The scene of Jessie and Sam getting bitten and eaten by the walkers remains, only it takes place, as I wrote it, right after the annoying kid opens his mouth and not after taking a little stroll through half of the town (which I didn't quite get at all, truth to be told). Rick manages to escape to the hill with his children (storywise) and meets up with Glenn, Enid and the rest of his people there. He also has his spiritual connection to Daryl up there – I just had to keep that.  
> Only Daryl, Sasha and Abraham did not get captured by Negan’s men. Those guys find their _sad_ end as in the movie, with Daryl getting a. injured by one of them and b. firing that rocket launcher at them. Only I decided to have him faint temporarily right after blowing the bikers up, due to the pain of that stab wound and the blast from the explosion, so that spiritual “meeting” with Rick can actually happen.   
>  I needed to have one of them in great mental distress and the other one unconscious, so both of them are a little “out of their minds”, so to speak. It puts them into a special, extreme mental state, which may allow their souls to communicate the way they did. Otherwise they would have to have that sort of connection now permanently, giving them some supernatural telephatic powers and – sorry – wrong show. This is not the X-Men or Supernatural or whatever and I didn’t want to exaggerate matters here.  
> So Rick knows Daryl’s injured and what happened, but that otherwise Sasha and Abraham are with him and they are likely to return by their own efforts.   
> That’s when Rick decides to win back Alexandria, win back a home their missing people can even return to. So he gathers the group once more and they return down to Alexandria to fight for it. Carl is with him and during that fight, Ron appears and tries to shoot Rick, hitting Carl though before Michonne kills him (movie wise).  
> Rick rushes Carl to the infirmary and thus doesn’t see Daryl, Sasha and Abraham come back and help with the fight for Alexandria, which should by all means include Daryl’s second use of the rocket launcher (also movie wise).  
> The film ends with Rick sitting by his son’s bedside crying and telling him of the new world he wants him to see. 
> 
>  
> 
> This is where this story picks up.
> 
>  
> 
> Hope that does make sense at all, but I thought it was a good solution and a nice mixture of the story and the movie. Actually like it better than the movie …   
>   
> 

**A New World**

 

_ How did it ever come to this? How did this happen? How could I  _ let _it happen?_

Rick sat vigil at his son’s bedside, holding his hand, imploring him to go on fighting, while he felt an immense wave of despair rise inside of him once more, about to wash over him and crush him in the process.

They had made it out. His plan to walk through the herd, covered in the walkers’ guts and blood, had worked – as long as Sam had kept quiet. But he got scared, he started calling out to his mom – that’s when things went south. _If_ Sam had just stayed calm and quiet, they’d all been okay. _If_ he, Rick, hadn’t turned around, the hatchet clutched in his hand, determined to protect his children _no matter what_ , they’d all been okay. _If_ Jessie hadn’t start screaming, scared for her own child, they’d all been okay. _If_ however meant, things went differently. 

Jessie and Sam had died right there and then, while Rick had made it out with his children safe and well. He, who had caused all this. He, whose plan this had been. He, who should have known that Sam was in no condition to walk through that herd. More lives lost. More people, whose death was on his conscience. 

It had been safe up there on that hill for the time being. Almost all members of his little group had showed up one by one – Michonne, Carol, Morgan, Rosita, Tara, Eugene, Enid, Maggie, Glenn and even Gabriel. 

Rick swallowed hard, lost in memories of the previous hours. 

_ Daryl … _

He could still not believe what he had experienced up there. Never would he have thought that something like this was possible, that two souls could communicate over the distance in the way his and Daryl’s had. He had even _seen_ him, standing right in front of him, talking to him … God, how he wished he was here with him now. 

_ Where are you? _

Rick had seen it – another hostile group of men, threatening to killl Daryl, his Daryl, along with Sasha and Abraham. He had seen Daryl fire off a rocket launcher, killing those men instantly, before the force of the explosion along with the pain of the stab wound in his back, which one of their attackers had inflicted on him, had made him faint.   
He was wounded. And he was still out there. But Sasha and Abraham were with him and together they’d make it home. Home.   
That thought had had Rick turn around and look at what was left of Alexandria. Walkers had been swarming every street and the number of casulties was immense, but there had still been people down there, trapped in their houses, waiting for rescue. And Daryl was going to come home soon. Back to a _home_ that no longer existed though – unless Rick was going to do something about it. And he’d be damned, if he let those monsters take away another safe haven, another refuge, condemning his family to a life out there on the street again – always running, always hiding, never at peace. 

He had woken his people, telling them that they could not just give up and run. That they had to fight for that town, for their home, fight to win it back. That they had to do _something_ to save the people who were still alive down there, that he wanted a place to see his children grow up without having to kill walkers on a daily base, without always being on the run. 

_          “Here I leave ya alone for a while and there goes the neighborhood.” _

Daryl’s words had echoed in his mind and his “damn male ego” – this would have been Lori’s words – had taken over. He just couldn’t have Daryl come back to _this._ All the other reasons he listed up to lift his group’s fighting spirit were true, and they were good and honorable reasons. But the one he kept to himself was the one that had driven him. Daryl.   
He wanted to be a leader again, a man who was proud and strong, someone who would win back this place and build a new world for all of them. He wanted to be someone Daryl would proudly call the man by his side and this new world was for him first of all – for the two of them. Together.    
He wanted to stand on a field of victory, his head held high despite of the things he had done. He wanted to hear Daryl say “Way to go, Grimes.” Too many times the archer had been the cavalry, coming to his rescue, even taking the helm when he had lost all strength and ability to get things done. For Daryl he wanted to be a better man. 

But even the best laid plans could go awry. And this one had – big time.

Rick suppressed a sob and once more squeezed Carl’s hand, while he looked into his son’s disfigured face. 

This is on you, Grimes. You and your damn male ego – you did this. You wanted to be a hero. You wanted to be praised as leader of the year. You did this!

He felt a tear run down his cheek. They did win Alexandria back. They were indeed sitting on a field of victory and this could be a home and a wonderful new world for all of them – for Daryl, for Judith and Carl … 

A second tear followed the first, soon to be joined by a third one. Carl. 

He had failed him. He sucked as a father. It was his job to protect his children, yet time and again he did no other than endanger them further. Today he almost got his son killed. Carl’s life hung by a thread and even if he was going to survive – he would never again by able to see the new world his dad had so eagerly talked about with both of his eyes. One was gone. From now on, _if_ he lived at all, he would do it with a disfigured face and only his left eye. 

_ What the hell kind of father are you, Rick Grimes!? _

He should have left Carl behind, safe up there on the hill with Maggie. Maggie was injured, a stray bullet hit her in the thigh and Glenn had urged her to stay and take care of Judith. Naturally she had protested. She had just gotten her husband back and wasn’t inclinded to see him leave her again, but she was in no condition to run and fight and someone had to take care of Judith. So in the end reason had gotten the better of her.  
Carl should have stayed, too. But how do you make your teenage son, who had been forced to grow into a man way too soon, see things your way and stay behind? 

          _“Dad, I’m not injured and I’m not a baby. I can help!”_

Was there anything at all Rick could have said to that? Any reason at all save for the fact, that he feared for Carl’s safety? But wasnt that what parents _always_ did? It was part of the job, like it or not. There was nothing he could have said or done, deep down inside Rick was aware of that. Still he felt responsible. Maybe he should have watched out for Carl more than he did. But there had been so many walkers, coming from all directions. For a while there he had been mercilessly swinging that hatchet at everything that moved around him, not thinking, not feeling, not really hearing or seeing anything – just reacting, instincts taking over.  
                    
He had never even seen Ron aim his gun at him. He had no idea Jessie’s older son had survived and had to witness his mother’s and brother’s death. He hadn’t even realized that now he was responsible for the death of Ron’s entire family.   
The boy had been consumed by hate and fury, fuled even more by the fact that he had watched Rick just leave and hurry to safety with his family, never looking back, while Ron was left behind all by himself in the middle of the herd. All he had craved for was Rick’s death. He wanted to kill him, wanted revenge – nothing else had mattered.   
He had never had a chance to pull the trigger on Rick, though. Before he’d been able to shoot, Michonne’s catana had run him through from behind, thereby wiping out the last of the Anderson family.   
Was it just a muscle contraction of an already dead body or maybe Ron’s last deed in his life – either way, a shot rang out even while the boy dropped to the ground and hit Carl square in the face. The bullet that was meant for Rick, hit his son and cost him his eye and perhaps even his life. 

              “I’m sorry, Carl. I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault.”

Never letting go of his son’s hand, the grieving man covered his face with the other and cried helplessly. 

Only vaguely did he notice that now and then someone came in to check on him and Carl. Enid had been there shortly to see the boy, but had left quickly again when she realized that he was in no condition for visitors and she was neither needed, nor appreciated there. Michonne had come in with Judith on her arm and her usually strong and determined expression had faded once more to show compassion and sorrow alike. Once more, as she had done earlier, she kissed Carl’s head, then – after hesitating for just a moment – did the same to Rick, before she left silently after whispering “He’s strong. He’ll pull through”, to him.   
Her words went unheard. Her visit and her gentle gestures unnoticed. 

She wasn’t what Rick needed right now. They all were not what he needed. There was only one person in this world he was longing to see and he wasn’t here. He was still out there, injured as well, while Rick felt as though the ground fell out from underneath his feet. 

So long had he balanced close to the edge of that bottomless abyss. So long had he desperately tried to get a grip, to regain the strength and will to step back. And for a while there, after he had become aware of his feelings for Daryl and found out that they had been reciprocated for the longest time, that abyss hadn’t been threatening at all any more, because he was able to fly.   
But his wings got broken today. Even before he had had a chance to see Daryl again, to talk to him, _really_ talk to him and let the world know about them, even before the archer had returned to be his lifeline once more, he’d been given that merciless push that had sent him over the edge.  
More guilt loaded onto his conscience, more death he was responsible for, including perhaps that of his own child – no soul this heavy with sorrow and remorse was able to fly.   
He was falling. Deeper and deeper into darkness, losing himself a little more with each passing moment. And there was no one there to catch him. No one by his side, who’d been able to. Blinded by tears he just stared blankly ahead of himself, not responsive any longer. Too much. Too many things he had done and said that he shouldn’t have. Too many things he hadn’t done or said, that he should have. No turning back. No second chance. Just darkness. 

              “Rick? _Rick_?”

Carol’s voice from far away, calling him. He didn’t care. Earlier, when they had taken Carl into the infirmary, Michonne had filled him in that their group was fine, that they were all right there for him, all waiting outside, praying for Carl’s life. He had almost laughed in her face – not the amused kind of laughter though.   
Pray? To whom, for crying out loud? There was no God out there. If there was, would he allow all this to happen to good people? Friends being forced to kill one another, mothers dying while bringing new life into this hell of a world, friends and loved ones dying day by day by day, families being torn apart, people having to watch their beloved getting injured or even killed by the evil forces that were ruling this planet now. No, there was no God. If there was, He would have protected Shane and himself from the monster inside of both of them, He would have protected Lori and all the wonderful people they had already lost out there, He would have protected Carl from a fate as this one and also Daryl from getting injured out there, with no means for Rick to help him.   
But if his people found strength in believing, something he couldn’t do any longer, it was fine with him. His source of strenth was somewhere out there, forsaken by their God as much as Rick was himself and if Daryl didn’t come back any time soon, he wouldn’t find the strong and proud man Rick had wanted to be for him so badly, but only broken pieces that once used to be Rick Grimes. 

              “Rick!”

Carol hurried to the door and stuck her head outside. 

              “Denise, I think you had better come in here.”

The next moment a shadow appeared beside the bed and a soft and gentle hand touched Carl’s forehead, took his temperature and pulse and then gave a satisfied nod in Carol’s direction. 

              “All things considered, he’s fine. He may even wake …”

She saw Carol press her lips together and give a curt nod in Rick’s direction, bringing the man’s condition to the doctor’s notice. Denise touched his shoulder gently in order to have him take notice of his surroundings, but he just kept staring blankly ahead of himself, clutching his son’s hand, totally withdrawn into the depths of his mind. 

              “Shock?” Carol whispered to the other woman and was cast a quick glance.  
               
              “Maybe. But …”

              “Denise?” Heath stuck his head in from outside with an apologizing air to his voice. “Sorry to disturb, but there’s another patient for you outside, if you got a minute?”

She gave a curt nod.  
              “Sure. Be right there. – Carol, I’ll be right back. Keep an eye on those two.” She leaned in to whisper to the older woman. “Especially Rick. He is shivering like aspen leaf and has me worried more than Carl, truth to be told.”

That said she hurried out the door to see to said new patient. A smile spread over her face when she saw the three new arrivals that had joined the others. A tall red-haired man in a uniform, a pretty black woman and a man in his fourties, wearing a biker vest and clutching a rocket launcher – which had Denise frown for a moment – who appeared more than unkempt in comparision to the other two, but the blue eyes that looked at her from under way too long bangs gave him a very charismatic aura. 

              “You are the three that were still missing, right? The three Rick kept asking about – Daryl, Sasha and Abraham?”   
               
              “Yeah, nice ta meet ya, too, sweetheart, but maybe ya could take a look at ma back before we exchange business cards.” 

The smile dropped off her face and she drew a deep breath while pointing to the examination table.

              “Have a seat”, she said with forced friendliness, before turning to Abraham and Sasha. “If neither of you needs a doctor, would someone please remove this _thing_ ”, she pointed at the rocket launcher, “from my infirmary. And then, please, you all – give me some room to work here.”

Sasha sent a parting smile into Daryl’s direction, before she headed out the door after Abraham, who was carrying the rocket launcher outside. Heath and Spencer followed right behind, meeting Denise’s wish to be left alone with her patients.   
It had grown quiet inside the infirmary as well as out front. Michonne had decided to take Judith back to the house and lay her down for a nap and Glenn had urged Maggie to do the same. The shot wound had been taken care of and Hershel’s oldest daughter needed rest badly – not just because she’d been injured, but because she had to fear for her husband’s life for days, which had put her under more distress than a pregnant woman should have to suffer. As usual, she had tried to be strong, had tried to protest, had told him that she was needed here, but then she had been unable to come up with one single reason why. So in the end she had given in, especially when Glenn had offered to stay with her. Gabriel had called in a service at the church to thank God for the liberation of Alexandria, for giving them the strength and courage they had needed - Heaven helps those who help themselves – and quite a few people had actually gone to attend. Enid, Eugene, Morgan and Rosita along with many of the Alexandrians.   
Tara had stayed behind. She was in an adjoining storage room looking for more bandages in order to assist her new girlfriend. Her heart was light despite of the horrible night that lay behind them. But all that did not matter any longer. It lay in the past. Was over and forgotten. Yesterday. What mattered now was that Denise was safe, that she had escaped the wolf’s clutches and had made it through the herd of walkers unharmed. Life was good. 

Daryl drew a deep breath while he sat down on the examination table, taking his vest and shirt off in the process. The young doctor took a look at the archer’s injury and then wordlessly reached for iodine to disinfect the stab wound. She worked quietly and gently and a moment later the man’s voice cut through the silence.  
               
              “ ’m sorry I snapped at ya like that. Didn’t mean ta … “  
               
              “It’s okay”, she cut in.

              “Nah, it’s not. It’s just … Damn, I shoulda been back here before the shit hit the fan. Bunch of fucking assholes held us up. If we’d been here …”

              “Shoulda, coulda, woulda”, she said softly behind his back. “You know this is senseless. You were here early enough – you and that _thing_.” She couldn’t help an amused inflection for a moment. “If you hadn’t been held up by those _assholes_ , you may not have had the means and the right timing to put an end to that herd of walkers the way you did. So, who knows – maybe it was supposed to happen this way.” 

He threw a glance over his shoulder.

              “Jeez, ya sure ya wanna be here or rather take over Gabriel’s job over at the church?” 

She wasn’t sure at first, if he was taunting her or not, but then she saw the ghost of a smile on his face for just a second, which had her smile as well.

              “And who would patch up you heroes?” 

He didn’t reply. Just resumned his silent staring at nothing in particular, squirming on the table every other moment.   
              “Would you sit still, please? You need stitches and I can’t …”

              “I shouldn’t be here”, he stated matter-of-factly. “Where …?”

He stopped in midsentence and looked around the room. Everybody was gone. No one was here save for Denise. He liked her, she was nice enough, but still – she was one of _them._ Daryl wasn’t quite able to put his finger on the reason why he still thought of the Alexandrians as _them_ and his group as _us._ He didn’t consider himself to be part of this city, it wasn’t home to him – not yet.   
There’d been too many places in the past he had allowed to think of as _home_ – and then he had lost them again and had found himself stranded each time. When he was just a young boy he had come back to his family’s _home,_ firetrucks parked out front and the entire house burned down to ashes – his mother along with it. After that, there had been no _home_ for a long time, because the place he was forced to live in with his abusive father and neglecting brother didn’t meet that definition in the least. The next place he had called _home_ had been Hershel’s farm, then the prison … All of those places had gone up in flames in the end.   
He was cautious now. Didn’t invest emotions into places easily any longer – and not in people either, for that matter. He stuck to the little exclusive group he had learned to call _family_ , but that circle wasn’t going to get expanded any time soon to include the whole bunch of these people.   
Why wasn’t anyone of his group around now? Where had everybody gone all of a sudden? He had questions. And he needed answers. Urgently. Now. He had to get out of here. 

              “For God’s sake, will you sit still already?” 

Daryl cast another glance over his shoulder, surprised that this woman was able to raise her voice at all, and found his impatience and anger get the better of him once more.

              “Hurry up, will ya? Don’t need ta be pretty back there.” And in a lower voice he added: “Got plenty of scars already, so it don’t matter.” 

Denise looked at him with sympathy and was about to reply, when Tara emerged  from the storage room. 

              “What’s going on in here?” 

              “Tara!” 

The relief in his inflection had her raise her brows in surprise, but before she could react, he spoke again.

              “Where’s Rick?” 

At any other time, in any other situation, she would have given him a bitchy reply like “Nice to see you, too, Daryl”, but this wasn’t any other time or situation. There was something in his eyes, something in his inflection – a touch of _urgency –_ that had her understand that he wasn’t in the mood for friendly chit-chat and he didn’t ask for Rick just for the fun of it. He _had_ to know, now. 

She pointed to the adjoining room. 

              “He’s in there.”

Denise, who had her hands still placed against Daryl’s back, patching up the stab wound, felt every muscle in the man’s body tense, while he sat up abruptly. She cursed under her breath, but it was his voice that filled the room a second later.

              “What happened? Is he hurt?” 

Before either Tara or Denise had a chance to reply, the door was opened and Carol stuck her head out. Instantly her face was beaming, when she saw Daryl sitting on the examination table.

              “I thought, I heard your voice out here”, she said, while she hurried towards him. 

She reached out to him in order to squeeze his hand, eager to snatch one of the  small physical contacts he allowed at all once in a while, but almost immediately he raised his arms defensively.

              “What’s ta matter with Rick?” 

His voice had gained in volume and he tried to jump off the table, ignoring the young doctor still working on his wound.

              “That does it!” Denise exclaimed and put down the needle she’d been working with. “ Go ahead”, she added more softly then, “I best finish this later when you got the patience … “

              “Will anyone answer the fucking question? - Rick?!” he yelled to the adjoining room. 

The little patience Daryl had managed to muster at all, was spent and while Tara had instantly seen and felt the urgency building inside of him, the other two seemed to be totally oblivious to his state of mind. Oblivious to the fact that Daryl didn’t care about the wound in his back or any of the people in this room at that moment. Tara said Rick was in the other room – a patient’s room. He was hurt. Did he get bitten? What was it they weren’t telling him? How bad was it? Was he dying? 

              _No, Rick Grimes, you can’t. Won’t let ya. Ain’t gonna let ya leave before ya found yer fucking balls and told me what you got ta say. And after that ya ain’t_ want _ta leave me._

At any other time Daryl might have wondered about the thought that flashed through his mind just now. It would even have made him laugh. But this moment as well was not any other time. His eyes firmly focussed on the door to the room Carol had just emerged from, he made a few steps into that direction, while he pulled the torn vest over his bare torso. He didn’t bother with the shirt, but still had to draw a deep breath nevertheless when a sharp pain ripped through his shoulder while he tried to don the piece of clothing.   
He didn’t thank Denise for her help. He didn’t take a second look at Tara. And he had blinded out Carol’s presence entirely. Rick. He had to get to Rick. Nothing else mattered.   
In just that moment Carol stepped into his path, a hurt expression on her face.

              “I’m fine, by the way. – Thanks for asking.”

He glared daggers her way, which had her flinch visibly.

              “I can _see_ that. And now get off ma back, will ya?”

              “It’s not Rick”, he heard Tara’s voice behind him. “Carl’s hurt.”   
She paused for a moment, then repeated softer once more.   
              “It’s not Rick.” The next moment she had stepped up to him, gently placing one hand on his shoulder. “But Carl’s in a very bad way and Rick … Rick really needs you right now.”

The tension in his body subsided and the angry and grim lines on his face smoothed visibly.   
He liked Carl a lot. He had been a brave boy even when he was younger, one who had to grow up way too fast, and now Carl was a younger version of Rick. Courageous, responsible, mature – a born leader. He would go far, if his fate allowed him to see another day. Daryl had always enjoyed the boy’s company. He would undoubtably never have a child of his own, but if he had, he wouldn’t have minded a son like Carl.   
Still – right now, right here, Carl was not priority. Rick was. Always had been. Always would be. He was not injured. He was alive. Unharmed. Right next door. 

An immense relief washed over the man and he bent down to Tara to give her a kiss on the cheek. She was the only one present, who seemed to understand what he’d just been going through. Knew about the extreme fears and worries the mental cinema could cause. The only one who seemed to _know_ how he felt, felt for Rick, and approved. The only one to sense what he needed, what Rick needed, what was important and essential now and what wasn’t. 

A myriad of emotions were depicted on Carol’s face, but Daryl didn’t even take notice of that.   
She was hurt, because he took the time to pay attention to Tara, even kissed her on the cheek, while he was totally ignoring her.   
She was jealous, because his only concern was for Rick, again, as _always_ , while he didn’t even take a second to ask her how she felt.   
She was deeply frustrated, because with each passing day, with each new  
life-threatening situation they encountered, the two men seemed to be drawn to each other further and her chances of ever winning Daryl’s heart were fading more and more. If there had ever _been_ any at all. Perhaps she was just fooling herself. Perhaps she had totally misread Daryl’s friendliness and the times he had allowed her close, and saw love or at least attraction where there had never been any more than mere friendship. If she was honest with herself, she had had the suspicion for the longest time – the suspicion that his heart was already taken and it was Rick’s entirely, completely and forever.   
She was angry as well. Angry of herself most of all, for being the _stupid bitch_ he called her once, for being selfish and inconsiderate, instead of seeing, just like Tara did, what was important and urgent to him. 

              _Stupid bitch!_

She couldn’t help thinking that he’d been right back then. And he’d be right now, if he called her that again. She deserved no better.

Before she could say anything, apologize, do anything at all, the door to the patient’s room opened and Rick appeared in the doorway.  
Instantly it went deadly silent as all eyes were turned to the younger man, who was the mere picture of misery. He stood with sagging shoulders as if he didn’t possess the strength to stand straight any longer. His face was as white as a sheet, which had the puffy and red-rimmed eyes stand out even stronger.   
Rick didn’t care that he gave a pathetic appearance. He was well aware of the fact that he was not the strong and proud man he had planned to be, when Daryl returned. There was nothing to be proud of – people were dead and his son was badly injured, simple as that. And it was on him. Again. And despite all his attempts to keep his head held high, he had just given up in the end – allowed desperation and guilt to get the better of him and have him crumble.   
Daryl would see him for what he was. He’d always been able to see right to the core and back then he may have liked what he saw. What did he see now? A weak, pathetic, worthless nobody? Someone he couldn’t possibly follow any longer? Someone he couldn’t even respect another day, least to say love? Would he turn on his heels any second now and leave him?

For what seemed to be an eternity both men just stared at each other over the distance, rooted to their spots as if time had stopped. To the three women watching this, it appeared as though for some strange and unknown reason they had both frozen – standing totally motionless, their faces deadpan.  
To the two men in question however no one else around existed anymore. In just that moment the entire world around them did not exist anymore. A myriad of thoughts and emotions rushed through either body and while they appeared calm on the outside, inside they were in a turmoil.   
Rick felt his heart beat painfully against the inside of his ribs. All his fears and anxieties choked him, while that bottomless abyss was still swallowing him, making the person that used to be Rick Grimes cease to exist.   
There was only one person who was able to save him. And that person was standing before him now, keeping his eyes firmly locked with Rick’s, communicating with him silently through looks alone as so many times before. _I’m here._  
Daryl wasn’t disappointed or disgusted about what he saw. He made no move at all to turn and walk away. On the contrary – he was emiting an incredible wave of hope, support, strength … and love, just by looking into Rick’s eyes.   
And with just that one look Daryl put the million pieces back together – made Rick whole again and drove the darkness inside of the younger man away.   
Rick Grimes was back – a changed and altered Rick Grimes, no better than the old one, but hopefully no worse, either. Just different. 

In the next second Rick’s feet developed a mind of their own and he dismissed all worries, second thoughts and reserves. He chose to not play by rules any longer that were part of another world – this was the new world now. And it would see Daryl Dixon by his side.  
He started running, his sudden movement bringing Daryl out of his stupor as well. It was only a short distance and they met halfway, embracing each other crushingly and holding on for dear life.

              “Thank God!” was all Rick was able to choke out, for a moment there allowing the possibility that there was a God after all. 

Daryl pressed his head to the side of Rick’s, his long strands mixing with the other’s tight curls. 

              “How’s Carl?” he whispered softly.

              “He’ll be okay”, Rick replied just as softly, but with newly found determination and conviction coloring his inflection. 

Carl was going to be alright. As was he. They were _all_ going to be alright. Daryl was here with him – his beacon in the darkness, his anchor to sanity, his lifeline. He _would_ be a leader again and he would build this whole new world he had promised his son. Everything was possible now.   
He hugged the older man even closer, running one hand through the unruly long strands, turning his head just slightly to press a soft kiss to Daryl’s neck.

              “Hey, asshole”, the archer whispered gently into Rick’s ear, “ ‘m glad ya found yer balls after all.”

Despite himself Rick had to smile about that and pulled back just a little to look Daryl in the eyes.

              “You’re not gonna make that my petname, will you?”

Daryl shrugged nonchalant.

              “Depends on …”

He was never able to finish his sentence, because the next moment Rick’s head came forward and his lips on Daryl’s cut off anything the older man had wanted to say.  
Rick’s hands moved from Daryl’s back to the side of his head, where he entangled his fingers in the other’s hair, not giving him any space to pull back. Not that Daryl had intended anything of that kind. Rick’s sudden boldness surprised him for only a second, then he tightened his arms around the younger man’s lean form and responded hungrily to the kiss he had waited for for so long.  
In countless dreams he had seen just this scenario transpire – Rick in his arms, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. And these days one never knew if there was.   
It wasn’t like in his dreams. It wasn’t passion or lust that had initiated Rick’s kiss and on realizing that, Daryl was surprised that he didn’t feel disappointed at all. Not just because this was a good start nevertheless and there would be other days, other kisses that would entail passion and lust for sure, but because this first kiss was so much more than the expression of purely hormone-driven emotions.   
He felt all of Rick’s anguish, sorrow and forlornness seep into the almost desperate way he held him close, pressing his lips to Daryl’s mouth, nibbling and licking in order to taste the other man, while breathing labored as though he meant to inhale him.   
              And Daryl’s response had all of those feelings that had tortured Rick for too long simply evaporate, disappeare into the clear air of his new world. In the end there was nothing left inside of Rick that was able to blocked the one emotion he had wanted to emit through his kiss – love. Yes, he loved Daryl. Had loved him for a long time – perhaps even long before he had even met him. Somehow he had always been on a search for the other half of his soul and now, right there in this infirmary, he was complete for the first time in his life.   
Save for love it was need Daryl felt in Rick’s kiss. Both was entirely new to him. Merle may have cared for him in his own special way, but he hadn’t loved him and his parents only ever saw a terrible burden in him. Carol, she may think she loved him, but it was probably just attraction or the desire to be with someone, to belong. She wasn’t good on her own, never was, which had her stay with an abusive husband rather than having no one. But Daryl wasn’t what she was looking for.   
And no one, ever, had needed him. No one. They may have called on him to do their dirty work or to fill a position inside the group no one else could, simply because they were lacking skills such as tracking or hunting. But that wasn’t need. They didn’t _need_ him – not the way Rick did. People may have liked to have him around for one or the other reason – for company, to get work done, to do what they could not, but as soon as he wasn’t there any longer, they’d find someone else to fill the gap.   
Rick needed him on an entirely emotional level. Needed him to an extent that meant going on without him was no option any longer. _I can’t live without you._ Daryl had always thought that sentence to be an empty and sappy phrase. He had always thought that it was ridiculous to say one’s life would end, just because someone else was not around any longer. In right this moment he understood that it was not. It was true. Entirely true. 

The need to breathe finally broke them apart and a smile spread over Daryl’s face, that remained only inches away from Rick’s.

              “I might reconsider ‘bout the petname.”

              “You _might_?” One of Rick’s eyebrows rose in fake dismay. “Guess I’ll have to try harder to convince you, huh?”

A smirk spread over Daryl’s face.

              “ _Harder_ sounds good ta me, Grimes.” 

              “Get a room.” Tara’s amused voice sounded from the side and had the two men realize for the first time in quite a while that they weren’t alone in the room. 

Rick looked over to where she was standing with her arm around Denise’s waist, grinning like the Cheshire Cat and giving them a thumps up. To his dismay he instantly felt his ears turn a deeper shade of red, which had Daryl press his lips together in order not to laugh. 

              “Are you blushing?” he couldn’t help teasing.

              “Ah, shut up!” Rick shot back.

Yes, he was blushing, but not because he was embarassed about his emotions for Daryl or the display of them right now.   
He was ashamed of his inconcideration. How long had he known about his feelings for the other man? How many chances did he let pass to have a talk with his group – his teenage son first of all, but also the woman he knew had feelings for Daryl as well. Carol. One would have to be blind and deaf not to have noticed that she had her  hopes high on a relationship with the archer, that she wanted more than just friendship. And Rick was well aware of the fact that this woman was in the room there with them and had to witness all of her hopes getting crushed with just this one kiss.   
              He didn’t feel like he had to explain or justify _anything,_ but having her find out this way was cruel. It must have felt like a slap to the face for her and he would have preferred to handle this differently. There was no telling what the rest of the group would think, when they found out about Daryl and him and there was no cautious way of telling them now – the cat was out of the bag. All he could do now was to perform damage control and hope the others would appreciate their relationship as much as Tara and Denise did. Otherwise this could put the group’s cohesion to a cruicial test.   
He dared look over to where Carol was standing and found his concern proven, when he looked into her eyes, shimmering with unshed tears. Daryl had noticed her, too, and all amusement and joy he had felt only seconds before evaporated instantly. He cursed under his breath, while he let go of Rick, wondering if she would want him to give her a hug, if there was anything at all he could do or say to do right by her, but before either of them had the chance to do anything at all, it was her who spoke first. She looked at Rick, then turned her eyes to Daryl, a single tear sliding down her cheek.

              “You could have told me.”

That was all she said before she ran past them, pulled the door open and hurried out, leaving the door gap widely open. 

              “Damn!” 

In another situation it may have been funny, that Rick, Daryl and Tara said this in exactly the same moment, having Denise adjust her glasses with a surprised air on her face. 

              “Did you practice long for this?” she couldn’t help asking, before breathing in deep and adding: “This didn’t go too well, huh? It’s none of my business, but perhaps someone should talk to her?”

Rick and Daryl looked at each other, while the young doctor continued:  
               
              “I need to go see to Carl now. So if you’d excuse me.”

She gave the men a parting nod, pecked Tara’s lips tenderly and then disappeared through the door into the patient’s room, quietly closing the door behind her. 

              “Hey”, Tara drew the attention of the two men to herself. “It wasn’t your fault. Things like this …” she gestured to the two of them, “they just happen. And I think it’s wonderful when they do. She’ll understand.”

Rick ran one hand through his curls and sighed. 

              “Yeah, but you may have noticed that she’s got feelings for Daryl. And her and I, well, we weren’t always on the best of terms, so our _friendship_ is on shaky ground as it is. She shouldn’t have found out this way.”

Tara waved the comment off.

              “Oh, please, Rick! We have all seen this coming for the longest time, you twerp. Why do guys always think they are so incredibly cunning, when in fact the first term that comes to mind when they try to hide something is _bull in a china shop._ Carol knew, too. She may have deluded herself, but that’s not on you guys. Still, talking to her may be a good idea nevertheless.”

She winked at them and then turned back to resume her work in the storage room. On walking away she added: “Otherwise there’ll be no more cookies and casseroles for you two.” 

This had Daryl burst out laughing, before Rick’s chiding glance had him compose himself quickly. 

              “C’mon, Rick, ‘s okay. I’ll talk to her, but Tara’s right – things like this happen 'n' I never did nothing ta encourage Carol or give her reason ta get her hopes up. On the contrary. What was I suppose ta tell her? _Hey, Carol, back off – I love Rick 'n' he loves me, but he don’t know it yet?_ ”

He lifted his hand and put it to the back of Rick’s neck, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

              “No one’s fault ya catch on so slowly”, he teased. 

Rick couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth.

              “God, I really hate you. Have I told you that lately?”

              “Nope, but it’s ‘bout time. Ya said ya got something ta tell me, Rick Grimes.  I’m listenin’, man.”

The worried lines on his face smoothed, while Rick reached out to the other man once more and pulled him close. He pressed his forehead to Daryl’s, his pulse rate picking up considerably. He had never dreamed that holding someone you love, truly love, in your arms, could feel so good.

              “I did tell you, Daryl Dixon. Many times. You just didn’t listen closely enough”, he whispered to the other man. 

              “Yeah, I did. I heard ya. But when ya said _I need you_ or _Yer ma brother_ , yer heart may have been in on it, but _you_ was still in denial, ya li’l coward. So either ya find yer balls right here and now, Grimes, or I’m gonna go find Carol 'n' tell her ‘m still up for grabs.” 

Rick’s arms around him tightened, as though he seriously felt the need to keep Daryl from carrying out that plan. 

              “You wouldn’t dare.”

              “Try me.”

Rick averted his eyes and breathed in deep. 

              “Never tought you’d be a guy for sappy scenes.”

Daryl pulled back a little and cocked his head.

              “Rick!” 

Rick new the inflection. He had heard Daryl say his name in that manner many times in the past and it had always been to keep him from doing something entirely stupid. Something, he may regret later. 

              “I love you.”

There, he had said it. It was out in the open and he felt as though an immense burden was off his chest. It would be beyond him forever why saying those three little words was so hard at times, but once one had found the courage, it felt perfect, it felt _right_ to have said them. 

Daryl gave his neck another squeeze before he pecked Rick’s lips.

              “Now, why was that so hard ta say that it took ya ages?” 

Rick looked at the other man with big eyes, surprised about his response. Secretly he had to grin though – his earlier impression had been right on. A relationship with a Dixon was unlikely to be of the romantic kind, so he had better not hold his breath now for Daryl to say those three little words in return.

As if he’d read his mind, Daryl pulled Rick closer and kissed him ardently, before he let go and took a step back. 

              “Best go and talk ta Carol now”, he said matter-of-factly, while Rick was still trying to catch his breath. “See ya later.” 

Speechless Rick followed Daryl with his eyes as he headed for the front door. Before he reached it, he turned around to the younger man once more and said:

              “Yer right – it’s sappy. But … thanks for sayin' it anyway. Means a lot.” He turned to the door in order to go look for Carol, but then stopped once more. 

              “Don’t forget – I hate ya, too, asshole.”   
A teasing sparkle came to his blue eyes and Rick couldn’t help laughing. 

              “I know …”, he started to reply, his grin even widening when they both ended the sentence in snyc. “Try _harder._ ”

Rick grapped Daryl’s shirt, that still lay discarded on the examination table and tossed it forcefully after its owner.

              “Get lost, Dixon!”

The grin remained. Catching his shirt, Daryl winked at him and then was out the door. Rick smiled to himself as he headed towards the patient’s room to return to Carl’s bedside.   
His son was still in critical condition, nothing had changed in that respect, but as for the rest of the world – everything was different now. Unknown terrain, new perspectives, new chances – already a whole new world.  
Rick was eager to talk to Carl. Perhaps his son would not be able to hear him, but still the young father hoped that the core of his words would seep through. He had to tell him. Had to let him know. Not just about Daryl, although that was the most important matter on his mind. No, he wanted Carl to learn the most important lesson ever – one he had only just learned himself.   
That there was nothing more important in life than being true to yourself, following your heart and trusting your emotions. To find the other half for your soul, the love of your life and when you do, to not hold back and let others tell you what is right and wrong and _decent._ Speak up and hold on with both hands, for second chances are rare and never come twice.  
And in Rick’s new world, the one he was eager to start building with his newly found optimism and strength, a lot of the old rules and restrictions would be banished. Especially all the narrow-minded moral standards that had dictated that people like Tara and Denise, Aaron and Eric or him and Daryl could not be together; that it was _wrong_ for them to be in love. 

              _Love, Carl, can never be wrong. And it’s beautiful in all its different ways._

A new hope was rising inside of Rick, his heart much lighter than it had been only shortly before. Things would be okay – they would take a turn for the better.   
Carl would recover, Alexandria would be rebuilt and they would all see brighter days.  
And one of those days, Daryl may even be inclinded to give him another petname. 


End file.
